these will be the most awkward days of our lives
my dear, i truly desire to see you as soon as possible, and to die in your arms, since neither the gods whom you have piously worshiped nor the men whom i have always served have shown us any thanks - cicero, to his wife
Grace Babe,
Attached is the class/course plan that Ba wants you to fill out before
you tell me what you want to study this fall.
You must focus on two areas during next four years at Duke, or you
can't get our blessings and supports.
1. Demonstrate strong background to apply medical school (U of M or
Washing U. preferred).
1). Take lessons learned from NW and Washing U straight
Medical program application failures.
2). One major must be Biology w/ intensive pre-Med courses.
3). Maintain the best GPA (3.85 or above) for both majors.
4). Issue at least 2 research papers publically - find the good
professors for topics and use work study or summer time.
5). Join the medical related group to in-need country (China or
South America...) for research or volunteer in weeks.
2. Make your best effort complete double majors in 3.5 years:
(Duke is expensive, use last semester as backup. If you make it,
use it for medical interview, travel, MCAT test and fun.)
1). Take more common courses between two majors.
2). Take as many required courses as you can handle in the earlier
semesters.
3). Don't miss any pre-required courses in freshman and sophomore
years - overview the required courses in good plan.
4). Balance your study load by taking light but practical courses
(i.e Chinese) with heavier required courses.
The keys to success are how you use your time wisely and effectively.
If you work hard toward the right direction, do not worry about the
money. We, including two sisters, will support you.
However, spend money wisely or as necessary.
Love you!
Baba & Mama
i bought an umbrella today for $19. it was necessary.
reading: goddesses, whores, wives, and slaves (for CLST 45S)
i rode forward of the yellow line
i have completely broken the habit of going on AIM.
i have no desire to go online, but occasionally, i will try going to make appearances. and i've got to say...i am so bad at it now. for the most part, i just totally forget that i'm online. even when i'm USING the computer, i forget to click on the flashy IM on the bottom. when i'm just meandering around my room, it totally slips my mind, which leads me to make lists, travel down the hall, take a shower, get recruited for an intramural volleyball team, &c [all of which i really did today]. just now, i remembered that i never said bye to the people that i was talking to 20 minutes ago, and i scrambled to flip open my laptop only to find i had already been disconnected. oops.
so the question is, of course, how accountable do i need to be in these conversations that span time and place...these conversations that only arise out of convenience and happenstance? now, a lot of the deepest discourses i have shared have come out of this silly venue, but just the same, i have wasted many a hour waiting to finish a conversation that can find no segue to a close [whether wanted or not].
it is sad that only in such an impersonal medium are certain relationships able to thrive or even get started.
questions i dont ask myself anymore
i am no expert on love. though i was involved in what many deem a stupid relationship this summer, i feel like such is my nature that i must make some of my own mistakes. yes, it was an unhealthy bout of sin and pride. yes, he was totally wrong for me. yes, i stupidly and selfishly threw my self-control to the side.
regardless of aforementioned, i believe there is truth to the fact that God can use the bad to teach the good. and i have learned a lot. despite all the cliches, or maybe through the cliches, i was/am able to see truth. a short sampling of lessons learned:
1. physical & emotional intimacy are easily confused.
2. foer [in his novel that i am now reading] has got a point: assurance that love [hesitation on the word, but you know what i mean] is there can be more powerful/comforting that the love itself.
3. dating a non-christian and sin really does tear one away from God a lot more than i realized before.
4. i am a sucker to dogged persistence. i really cant withstand. interestingly, this may also be the reason why i am bestish friends with wayne.
5. i cannot trust my own heart. [jer 17:9]
6. the classic what i like/dont like in a guy.
by saying this all, it might seem that it was all stupid and the boy was a mistake, but in truth, whereas i am not sure i would repeat this behavior if i were to have the opportunity, i do not regret it. i did care for this boy. i did cry when we parted for what we decided would be the last time this summer. i did hope that he would reassure me that he would never forget me. anything less would have made me a manipulative slut. so, does that make my affections worth less now that they have also been spent on this thing was wrong from the beginning? i can hardly answer that question in an objective way. tape will never be as sticky; forgiveness is a gift and power i will have to request personally.
reading: extremely loud & incredibly close
listening: lfo - girl on tv
photo: dans grad party, june 2006. i honestly though dg and sip were going to start making out next to me in this picture. what you see is thus pure disgust. 
